Are You Polish?

A guy goes into the store and tells the clerk, “I’d like some Polish Sausage.”

The clerk looks at him and says, “Are you Polish?” !

The guy, clearly offended, says, “Well, yes I am. But let me ask you: if I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian??? Or if I had asked for German sausage, would you ask me if I was German?? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Huh? Would ya??”

The clerk says “Well, no.”

With deep self righteous indignation, the guy says, “Well, alright then, why the HELL did you ask me if I’m Polish just because I ask for Polish sausage?”

The clerk says “Because this is a hardware store.”

Lost in a Blizzard

A blonde UB student from downstate got lost in her car in a Buffalo blizzard. She remembered what her dad had once told her: “If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snowplow and follow it.” Pretty soon a snowplow came by and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes. Finally the driver of the snowplow got out and asked what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her that if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, “Well, I’m through with the Wegman’s lot, now you can follow me over to Tops.”