Damn Yankees

A blonde UB student from downstate got lost in her car in a Buffalo blizzard. She remembered what her dad had once told her: “If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snowplow and follow it.” Pretty soon a snowplow came by and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes. Finally the driver of the snowplow got out and asked what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her that if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, “Well, I’m through with the Wegman’s lot, now you can follow me over to Tops.”

Tags: blonde, joke.tops.wegmans, snow plow, west seneca

A blonde who had lived in Buffalo all her life wanted to go ice fishing. She’d seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice.

After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.”

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of Spot coffee, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heaven the voice bellowed, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.”

The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole.

The voice came once more, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.” She stopped, looked skyward, and said, “Is that you, Lord?”

The voice replied, “NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF HSBC ARENA.”

Tags: blonde, buffalo, HSBC Arena, ice fishing, joke