The clerk looks at him and says, “Are you Polish?” !

The guy, clearly offended, says, “Well, yes I am. But let me ask you: if I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian??? Or if I had asked for German sausage, would you ask me if I was German?? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Huh? Would ya??”

The clerk says “Well, no.”

With deep self righteous indignation, the guy says, “Well, alright then, why the HELL did you ask me if I’m Polish just because I ask for Polish sausage?”

The clerk says “Because this is a hardware store.”

Address: ___________________________
Parish: _______ Volunteer Fire District: __________

Bowling average der (check only one dere)
[ ] 200-225
[ ] 226-250
[ ] 251-275
[ ] 276-300
[ ] above 300
Vehicle dat you own der (check all dat apply)
[ ] Dodge Aries
[ ] Plymouth Acclaim
[ ] Dodge Aspen
[ ] Plymouth Duster
[ ] Dodge Dart
[ ] Plymouth Reliant
[ ] Dodge Shadow
[ ] Plymouth Sundance
[ ] Dodge Spirit
[ ] Plymouth Volare
Vehicle equipped with what der (check all dat apply)
[ ] Light bar on roof
[ ] Scanner
[ ] Motorola 2-way radio
[ ] Bowling ball bag
[ ] Bingo blotters
[ ] Blesset Mother statue
[ ] Infant Jesus statue
[ ] St. Jude statue
[ ] Bobbing head Bills figurine
[ ] Volunteer fire department emblem on grille
Ornaments on your lawn der (check all dat apply)
[ ] Deer
[ ] Deer family
[ ] Flower – plastic spinning
[ ] Gnome
[ ] Goose
[ ] Goose planter
[ ] Lawn jockey (colert)
[ ] Little Bo Peep
[ ] Little Bo Peep wit da sheep
[ ] Orb (shiny)
[ ] Pink flamingo
[ ] Pink flamingo wit da spinningwinks
[ ] Shrine – Blesset Mother
[ ] Shrine – Infant of Prauge
[ ] Shrine – Buffalo Bills
[ ] Silhouette – dog jumping up tree
Religion (check only one der)
[ ] Polish National Catlik
[ ] Roman Catlik
[ ] Non-practisink Catlik
[ ] Buffalo Bills fan
[ ] Volunteer fireman
Bumper stickers:
[ ] “Pray the Rosary”
[ ] “Franczyk for Congress”
[ ] “Gorski for County Executive”
[ ] “I Love my Reliant”
[ ] “Airport Lanes 300 Club”
[ ] Anytink relatink to da Bills
[ ] “Volunteer Firemen do it With More Hose”
Define da following:
1. dupa
2. 7-10 split
3. lawn fete
4. pierogi
5. Dyngus Day
6 fish fry
7. crick
8. spaghetti dinner
9. third round draft pick
10. five alarmer
Favorite recreation:
[ ] Polka dancing
[ ] Bingo
[ ] Goink to da Townpark dere and lookink at da ladies’ dupas.
[ ] Saturday mass
[ ] Suntay mass
[ ] Watchink da Mother Angelica Show on da EWTN channel dere
[ ] Fireman’s Olympics
[ ] Tailgate party in da Rich Stadium parking lot
Where do you have relatives der? (check all that apply)
[ ] In da city near Sycamore (why haven’t dey mooft der?)
[ ] In da city on de olt East Side der, by Brudvay ant Fillmore
[ ] In da city in St. John Kanty’s Parish der
[ ] In da city in Kaisertown der
[ ] In da city in Lovejoy der
[ ] In da city in Black Rock der
[ ] Chickatawaga der
[ ] Sloan der
[ ] Depew der
[ ] Lancaster der (boy, dey must be really rich der)
[ ] Nort Tanawanda der
[ ] Lackawanna der
[ ] Warsaw der (Polant, not da town in Wyomink Cahnty der)
[ ] Gdansk der
[ ] Krakow der
[ ] Elsewhere in da olt country der

Sign here der _________________________